I spent the next 15 years "considering, concepting and conceiving". I became what I thought i needed to be.
I married a wonderful woman and had two kids that I loved more than anything in the world. After 11 years, I was falling apart. I couldn't live this belief any longer. Our goal is to be the best we can, not stick our heads in the sand and delude ourselves.
One night, at 3 in the morning, I couldn't hold it in any longer. I told her everything. We both went through lots of therapy, but it didn't work--of course, it couldn't. Years later we both regained our own footing.
My Personal Stonewall starts with a beautiful voice singing the notes I'd written during one of the most lonely times in my life in my early 20s. Of course, trying to fall in love with those I couldn't while avoiding the ones I could is never going to have a happy ending,
This was a song I played for no one. It starts off right from the beginning, "Someone please save me. Someone please come for me. Come please feel me, warm me, touch me." It's hard to be more out there than that. But, It keeps going, "I need a reason to run out late at night, fix myself up and...".
The female singer agreed to do the song as long as I didn't use her name as she was under contract with a label (can you recognize her voice?). I wanted to find another singer whose name I could use, but her voice was perfect--warm, rich, soulful. Yep, she was my voice in my 20s. You'll agree when you play the song.
DGIO is a rapper who does a lot of Christian rap, seemed that he could express the power and anger that I felt and still feel at those who oppress anyone, whether it's due to race, age, color, sexual orientation, everything that impedes anyones right to live their best life.
I didn't know if he'd take the gig (I mean a Christian rapper singing about "coming out" ). It was an awkward conversation for me, but he was wonderful and said, "of course.". Thank you DBIO!
The ending has the two singers singing together. It's very powerful (or at least that's what I intended). One is singing, "I need a reason to go out late at night, while the rap is, "I'm just a man and a man's what I am being the man that I am the best that I can." It's my first rap, how'd I do (be kind)?
Lyrics
My Personal Stonewall
by Rick Morris
Someone please save me
Someone please touch me
Come please feel me
Warm me, touch me.
I was shakin and I needed someone
Something to turn me on
A reason for fightin on
Something to turn me on
Everyone knows that it comes from within
Turned inside out, but I’m empty again.
Time to do something definitely,
Take control of my destiny.
I’m just a man and a mans what I am
Living life not a boy doin the best that I can
I’m the bloke next door, two-legged raptor
Lookin for a pound of flesh for me to hold at night
To meet me on the floor off this revolving door
He’s the one I want to see tonight
He’s my Sam I Am, Green Eggs and Ham
He’s my favorite toy, not another man’s decoy
I’m just a man and a mans what I am
Bein the man that I am the best that I can
I’ll find the one I love, my ball and glove
My One fish two fish red fish blue fish
He’s my Neanderthal with his bat and ball
He makes me feel like I’m 10 feet tall
Found the piece I missed my moment of bliss
Your damn right…it’s my personal Stonewall
I need a reason to go out late at night.
Fix myself up and start feeling just fine.
To do my work with integrity.
To write this song with sincerity.
I need a reason to go out late at night
Fix myself up and start feeling just fine
To do my work with integrity
To write this song with sincerity.
So wipe your eyes, cause maybe we’re the same
Just another player in the same game
Searchin for a different thing is not an inconsistent dream
How man others need to free the slaves
When will we walk hand in hand
Whether you’re a woman or a trans or a man
It’s time to lift the chains, stop pulling on our reins
Our Fuckin lives are what’s here to claim
I’m just a man and a mans what I am
Bein the man that I am the best that I can
It’s time to punch the clock, Don’t forget about the Cau-
casions, Latins too, Mormons, Christian, Jews
The rights of you and me are innate for us to be
Our souls that come divine, not for others to malign
Can’t we all just get along, or was that another song
Hell, I hope not, it’s still true.
I need a reason to go out late at night.
Fix myself up and start feeling just fine.
To do my work with integrity.
To write this song with sincerity.
I need a reason to go out late at night
Fix myself up and start feeling just fine
To do my work with integrity
To write this song with sincerity.